2003-09-27 - 5:49 p.m.

Wow. What an amazing dream.

The best plain language words I have come up with to describe it so far in my waking moments is that voices of truth or continuous and uninterruptible. If ever they leave off, they can always continue again at a later time as if they had never stopped.

In my dream, I was floating free, never firmly attached to one place, but I had a distinct feeling of self that persisted throughout the various places. In my mind, a voice occupied the centre stage at any given moment, and the words of truth came from the voice in a steady stream to my continually renewed amazement.

I thought it surreal at the time that my hypothesis always held true, that I was able to imagine what basically amounted to snippets of each voice without losing any of the threads of thought associated with each voice. Each voice had its moment, each voice was associated with a certain time and/or place and/or feeling, but the amazing thing was that all the voices' times, places and feelings mutually coexisted in a syntactically correct universe. I know I'm losing focus in the translation here.

Basically, out of all the words I could pick to continue a voice's story, the ones I picked always made sense with relation to the words the other voices had used. I know, that is a weak explanation. Well, it is no explanation at all to be truthful, just a vague memory of how it felt to be having this dream.

I can't remember for example how many different voices I heard, or even how each proved itself to me or demonstrated the feelings attached. I remember the feeling of continual amazement. I remember the feeling of consistent identity of self. I remember the lucidity, the knowledge of pretty much exactly what was going on, eclipsed by the knowledge that I just wanted to let myself sleep and experience the messages I was seeing/hearing/feeling.

I would I could remember the tantalizing bits. The nuggets that draw my memory-seeking attention like lights in the night to the insects that seek a vaguely remembered sun. There are some moments, some voices, that I swear I could remember verbatim, and perhaps get some more clear example of what I'm talking about. I think they were normal words I was using, but even there I'm not sure. I think that may be where the explanation breaks down. The atoms of those voice's "sentences" as it were (although, iirc, there were no pauses in the meaning, it just kept flowing for each voice, shifting topics smoothly as if breaks in the function didn't exist) were probably more like thought concepts than words in any human language.

Imagine a language of thought where every potential order of symbols has a definite and complete meaning, a meaning that makes sense in a post-analysis sort of sense. That is approaching the kind of "reading" of messages I was getting last night, this random walk of a graph of thought atoms where each thought made sense relative to the last, and relative to all other thoughts, without necessarily having a set order. It was like I could literally change the channel and the next tv show was in the same universe, maybe discussing a different topic, but with all the same background schemas in place as support.

Phew. I believe that is all the time I want to spend writing about this at this present time. It feels like such a waste to lose the feeling, yet I know that just sitting here and meditating on the idea will garnish better results from my poor overworked brain as it is. Forcing it to come up with words by continually accessing its English vocabulary, and then also looking up a typing input series equivalent and watching over the data entry process are all thought consuming tasks. In the dream I was able to easily slide along the possibilities of prose because I had no attention diverted anywhere else.

Anyhow, time to relax.

Yes.. yes ok, I will ;) heh I won't leave myself alone with this thought, and that fact makes me infinitely glad:

I love you Saara :)

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