2002-10-12 - 10:15 a.m.

Well today marks the second or third day I slept in. I made the decision last night that I could sleep in in the morning if I wanted to and it didn't take me long to decide when my alarm went off. I was awake at 5 am needing to go to the bathroom, but I still surfaced to almost awakeness just before my alarm went off. For a while after, I didn't think I'd sleep in for long and I almost got out of bed around 7:00 I think. I ended up waking up at 9:00.

I still can't decide whether or not it was a bad decision. I marked the X next to the daily goal though and that made me feel a little weird. I know it's best to get up at the same time every day, but I also know that I'm not being very good at sticking to the hours I've chosen. The problem is, if I get up any later, then A) I won't have enough time to do everything in the morning at a relaxed pace and B) I would probably just start staying up later until the new wake up time seemed too early. So my problem really is in sticking to a night-time routine and getting to bed before I'm totally wiped.

Last night I got in at 10:20 from my AA meeting and got into bed by 10:50. Not bad, but still, any night I go to bed after 10:00, I'm going to be digging a little hole in my sleep supply. I can't remember how many nights I got to bed by 10:00.. I think one or two this week. That should be one of my weekly goals this week: get to bed by 10:00 one night more than last week :o)

I should also add some exercise to my daily goals. I think I should vary my daily goals once in a while lest I start to lose the newness of this new way of living. Maybe for 1 week I could do a certain exercise and then I could think of a different one for the next week. By alternating, I bet I could end up sticking to it and actually exercising all year. Something to try for, anyway, cause I'm not satisfied with my pudge reduction rate. I tried on a pair of jeans that technically fit, but that I can't sit comfortably in, and that show the fact I still have a little layer of pudge all around my middle. That will change.. grrrrrr. :o)

So, on to yesterday :o) hehe.. that sounds weird. Yesterday was kind of a slack day at the office. I did in fact get a lot of work done and wrap up the build that needed to be released. Considering when I went in to the office, the graphics weren't even appearing right under windows 98 I guess I did good. However, once I accomplished my main goal, I didn't search for more to do. I was content to have a lazy friday. Still, the job is done and I'm now into maintenance mode. Although.. the code still needs some polishing I'm sure. Let's say we're in final testing on the build. Not something I would demo to a client quite yet.. but very, very close.

I biked to the office yesterday, which was a good thing. It was foggy on the way in and I got a bit wet, but the ride back was nice. Yesterday was the last warm day of the year. That's my gut instinct, anyway. It hit 17 degrees and I made sure to get out and at least walk down the street with Paul. It felt weird outside.. I couldn't really explain. I think it tied in to my general feeling of malaise though, what with all the things that have been happening in my personal life and at work. This whole time feels kind of like sliding down a long gloomy slope with no purchase. At least half the time it feels like that, then the other half it feels like the mountain thing, where I'm trudging slowly up a slope and I don't know how high the peak is. At least in the mountain one, the slope isn't slippery.

I made spaghetti sauce last night! W00t! It was rockin', of course, thanks to Mich's recipe. I filled up nicely on pasta and hopefully I can live off that for a few dinners this week. I went grocery shopping on the way home and spent only $5. I bought milk, bread, eggs and..umm... something else. bananas. Can't go without at least a little fruit. That should last until I use up the milk. Actually, Mark will drink most of it. Hopefully he'll buy more when it runs out. I shoudn't say stuff like that, it's just a prediction, but we'll see. Acceptance. Acceptance. Acceptance. Working on it ;o)

AA was ok last night. I had a headache that started just after noon and was killer on the bike ride home. I brought chamomile tea to the meeting though and it helped to sip that througout. I'm still learning a lot from the comment period. Lately I've been learning a lot about myself by the comments I make, and how they compare to everyone else's comments. I'm starting to see my place in the scheme of things.. which area I occupy in the slice of life that is AA. It helps me to know what I need to work on. I admire certain people's comments more than others.. usually because they are being very honest with themselves and fearless about talking about their flaws in front of others. I need to start being more like that in my comments. When I do, I feel like I'm saying something usefull. Too much of the time, however, I feel like I'm delivering my superior analysis of the text and sharing wonderful secrets that no one else could know. Bleah.

It seems like not much happened yesterday. It seems like this week has been like that.. the diary entries have gotten fairly regular.. work, eat, sleep. hehe.. Well, one negative comment I have about the week is that I didn't spend much time on my weekly goals. I also skipped work on the scrapbook project on thursday I think.. or was it wednesday. And I'm going to a mini-LAN party today instead of working on the scrapbook. I could listen to the part of me that's saying "don't worry, you can always do it later when you get home" or some nonsense like that. Pure blathering nonsense, there is no way I'm going to work on a scrapbook after I get home from this LAN party. It's just not my way.

Tomorrow I have laundry and stuff to do on top of all my Sunday planning so I won't have extra time. We'll see. I should at least plan extra this coming week on the scrapbook because I can't afford to fall behind and fail on the first project I ever assigned myself in my new life. That wouldn't bode well. I think I worry too much, but then again I have a track record to prove that I should worry ;o)

Time to go make an omelette. I have to use up some of those eggs. mmmMMm tomato, green pepper, hot pepper, red onion, basil, mozza cheese.. it's going to be a good omelette.

Au revoir.

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