2003-01-02 - 8:40 a.m.

ack. I forgot my dreams. Oh! No I didn't. One was a huge recurrence but that I haven't seen in a while. It's a long windy road up a mountainside type of deal. Sometimes it is unbroken pavement, sometimes it's more dirt, but I'm always on foot with a bunch of people.

Last night it was snowy and dark. Wow.. I really can't remember any details about that part. Strange.

The other dreams were about the acquisition and consumption of certain medicinal herbs. Not many details there either, although I do remember I was living in some sort of borrowed space with strange architecture. Hmm, I remember I dreamed in that space for a while but nothing significant came of it. It was like drifting aimlessly on a lake.. same scenery but no real activity.

My mom just stood in the doorway and talked to me for a minute. Sometimes it still hits me strangely: "there's my mom." Someone I haven't lived near in ... 10 years? Not quite that long, but still, a very long time and I catch myself amazed at seeing her for the first time in some ways.

I've learned so much more about the world and myself, and people in general, that when I see her now I see sides of her that were always unnoticed by me before.

You know what? I hate the fact that I think of these great thoughts that I would love to write in my diary and then next thing you know I'm sitting here in front of the screen with a blank drooly stare. I need to get and carry a personal recorder or something. Or.. have one implanted.... IN MY BRAIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAH. Yeah.. whatever.

I'm in a bit of a weird mood from extended sleep pattern disturbance.

I've been thinking of Michelle a lot lately. I should know better. What I need to do is get into new friendships, new loves, new life, and leave the parts that I shouldn't be thinking of behind. When people don't want to talk to you, it's not smart to keep thinking about talking to them, or to hang out on instant messenger services checking to see if they're around.

When will this nightmare be over?

'tis enough for t'day.

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