2003-06-16 - 10:32 p.m.

I'm going to shave.. beard is a bit itchy.

I feel so fantastic. Life is unbearably beautiful. I think a large part of the stimulus making me feel this way is the lifting of the depression that weighed me down. At least in this place, I am totally my old self, bubbly, outspoken, making people laugh as much as I laugh myself, which is a lot, and feeling at ease all day long.

I'm so happy and proud of myself for living so well, waking up early, not drinking alcohol (big party weekend, you know, it's an event for an alcoholic to be surrounded by drunks), learning how to play the guitar, heck even of the fact that I floss my teeth every night out of habit. Damn I feel so good.

My sun-worn skin suits me so completely here.. still feel the heat baking off me, smell the faint musk of bug spray, feel the coolness of the room. How often is it that you feel that a room is cool when you're perfectly comfortable, or that you feel the wellness in your limbs when you are so far from being sick. It's times like these when I realize the importance of slowing down enough to realize that I'm living, and it's only now that I'm older and wiser that I understand this knowledge alone and the inclination to continue to live that way is not enough to actually keep it up. I know there will soon come a day where I realize I've been forgetting to experience the good things in life, that I've lost focus on what matters in my endless hunt for what I think will make me happy in the moment.

Anyhow, I don't have to mental energy to write much at the moment. I want to go shave in cool water and fall into bed. Heck, it's 10:30.. that's late for me ;o)

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