2003-09-14 - 11:10 p.m.

I don't usually do this, actually I never have, but I read back on my last entry to help begin this one. I just needed to get a grasp on exactly how I come to feel so completely different today in terms of where I just recently was.

A sentence from my last entry jumped out at me: "I miss people. I miss the past and want to not relive it but renew it." how accurate in retrospect! Renew. Re-connections. Recon. Where does this path lead? I always loved walking through the woods without any particular destination in mind, lost in the wonder of the multifaceted variety of nature all around me. Now I have dunked headfirst into a smooth cool flowing stream of another's life, suddenly surrounded by hundreds of little unexplored tributaries, while still all connected through the flowing length of the stream to the early beginnings that were shared. Yes.. Cryptic, but only for not us 2. Heh ;) Our secret.

Now I can't think. All free moments absent of thought feel the soft rain of a constant background hum coming in. I'm surrounded and suffused with the immediate reflow of the cool stream, the easy re-encircling, the willing embrace, the brave tendrils reaching for a mutual sun. Like a pleasant fog forming a sweetly scented coccoon of private space, the new reality creeps in immediately and the absence of thought is gone, I haven't yet woken up from this dream.

How much of it is lack of sleep and how much of it is new ambitions, new availabilities, new possibilities?

One sentiment from the last entry remains identical, though :o) "I don't know where I'm going but I'm happy"

That is all :o)

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