2004-01-21 - 9:30 a.m.

Ahh tis morning again. A nice cloudless sunrise today so I can look forward to some bright sunshine this morning. I had been hoping for that so I'd have a great mood enhancer for writing my letter to Amanda, but I had secretly thought it was impossible since it was so nasty out yesterday and the forecast for today said overcast. I assume it will become overcast later.. whatever.

It's 9:10, I've been up for just over half an hour, most of which I spent in the shower. Damn frigid shower, with a weak piddling output, mostly concentrated in harsh, over-hot little streams of water, but supplemented generously with irregular misty jets that are so far out from the centre that it's an adventure to turn your face toward the thing, all underlined by a steady stream of arctic air flowing in under the door, around the pants I put there as a windbreak, across the floor and sneaking in under the curtain right where the sink conveniently juts out over the 4 foot long tub thing that the shower empties out into. So I keep turning around every few moments to thaw one side of my feet and ankles and freeze the other. Joy.

Yeah, anyway, what I was going to say was that when I first sat down here in front of the computer, I was in a total daze. Even a half hour after waking up, I'm still so asleep and afunctional (? non-functional? unfunctional?) that it's pointless to try to figure out what I'm going to do next. Funny, I can carry out a pre-known task step by step without having all my faculties, but doing something complex like deciding what to do is hopeless. I caught myself reading my reminder list with all the mental acuity normally reserved for the ads on the side of a cereal box. This I call practice reading because I'm not retaining any of it, just giving my eyes and brain some exercise at recognizing words.

So then I stopped that and decided a diary entry was the thing. Interestingly enough, thinking about what's happened in the past few days and the act of typing it out really wakes me up. I already feel different.

The sun just rose over the rooftop of a house up the hill. There's a splash of orange-yellow light smeared across my wall.

Yesterday it dawned on me why I say there's so little daylight here even though I know technically that the sunrise and sunset times aren't much different from most places in Canada. It's that when the sun does rise, it doesn't go up. It goes across, rising only a few handspans above the horizon till at noontime it shines out with all the strength of a fading evening sun on a summer day. Imagine that behind clouds and you'll see why I was driving with my car with the headlights on at 10 am even though the day was only lightly overcast.

The splash of orange-yellow is yellowing up now. A thought just struck me, that what I'm seing is an accurate graph of all the air particles between the sun and my wall. Of course my eyes can't make out enough detail to make any use of that information.. pity. I can however see the heat escaping from my window from the flickering waves that are showing along the bottom edge of the lit area. I have to leave my window open for airflow.

It amazes me to think of the detail present in the universe. I'm just imagining what my window must look like from the sun. Such a tiny opening on a tiny world, just a prick of light millions of miles away, yet the streams of photons leaving the sun are so densely packed that there's still a significant amount of them flowing through my tiny window. If you looked at it in terms of percentages, my window represents a tiny billionth of a billionth of a billionth .. and so on of the total sphere covered by light from the sun at this distance. Gee, I could use a little math to calculate the rough area in question and divide that by the area of my window to give me a ballpark figure, but who cares? I know it's infinitessimal. Besides, my stomach is growling. Or is that a fart about to come out? No, I'm really hungry.

Toodles

No, not toodles. I don't like toodles. It's not funny, and even not not funny like Monty Python is not funny, where you really laugh anyway. It's just dumb. Some days I feel like being so perverse but I'd really like to have my own concluder. I could always use squeal of death.. that's probably original.. But dumb. But accurate. How about "and to all a good night". :P -futureself? Hmm. Ahh..

Au revoir.

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