2002-12-18 - 11:00 a.m.

Dear Diary,

Slow getting started today. It's 10:48 and I wanted to be up at 8. I can say it's not my fault because the alarm was too quiet, but I'm the one who didn't fix the alarm when I noticed it like that yesterday morning, and besides, would I really have gotten up? I like to think that I would have. My track record doesn't agree, but then again, that's what makes me me.

It was raining most of the morning. It was kind of nice to wake up with that steady background noise. I had the heat turned up a little in my room and I dreamt of being in a hotel room that was too warm and turning the heat down. I had really messed up, confused and jumbled dreams. No more on that.

Never has Friday seemed so close to Wednesday. I'm trying to picture this entire apartment being empty by tomorrow night and I just can't do it. And yet I don't feel like I'm behind schedule, I just.. I dunno. Some things I haven't really figured yet are what to do with my bed and dresser. I would dearly like to keep them, but alas, they are big and clunky and unless I had a u-haul there's no way I could bring them. These are the days I wish I drove an old school bus instead of a dodge neon.

So I have to give away my bed and my dresser. Another dilemma I was facing this morning is this: I have to sleep somewhere tomorrow night. That implies my bed being here. However, the next morning at the crack of dawn it's my plan to head out of here. What does that mean for the bed? Should I give it away today/tomorrow and sleep on the floor instead? I can't say I like the sounds of that too much. All this means to me is that someone is with a truck is going to have to visit me either Thursday or very early Friday.

And I don't want to think about it right now. But I have to. I haven't matured much since I was 8 months old.

So now for breakfast and then .. I suppose I'll pack for a good hour. Then maybe take a 3 hour break. I'm not talking what I would plan, but what I see happening based on previous experience. I think my goal for today is to have all the boxes that I'm mailing wrapped up in brown packing paper and mailed down to my parent's house. I'm the proud owner of $640 Canadian dollars but I should reserve at least $200 of that for misc. expenses like closing down my hydro account, car insurance, etc. I'll need at least $200 for the trip down so now I'm looking at having $100-150 max for shipping costs. That should be enough. Depends if the oversize box is much extra. They may not even take it.

Ouch.. this is definitely an unusually negative entry. Abort! Abort!

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