2002-10-15 - 7:30 a.m.

Alright, I'm just going to start typing. I sat here for half a minute thinking about what to write and I don't think I was about to come up with anything spectacular, so I might as well just get started.

I had a really good day yesterday. I really really needed an extra day off and I made good use of it, instead of using it for an extra partying or recovery day like I might have in the past. I got a chance to catch up on my diary review yesterday and also to think about and choose a programming project. I still have to schedule some time to work on that though.

I spent a lot of the day yesterday with Tanis. In many ways this is a good thing, but it's a little weird and takes a lot of effort to keep thinking along the lines of "just friends". My intention is for a platonic relationship and nothing more, for a lot of very good reasons. I know that's not necessarily how things would work out if I didn't stay dilligent, though, so it makes it difficult to spend much time with her (or any "her" for that matter :o| )

But still, there are a lot of good reasons to hang around Tanis. She is quite wise and I could learn a lot of things from her. I could learn to eat better, for one thing. She has this great book on healthy living and natural remedies that I was reading a bit of yesterday. Here I was thinking that I was doing so well with my eating and yet for a long time now I've been eating a lot of peanut butter and jam sandwiches for lunch at the office. I mean, white bread, processed peanuts, and sugary processed fruit, as well as margarine. That's just not healthy. I only eat it because it tastes good.

Aside from picking up some of her healthier habits, I also just plain enjoy spending time with a new friend. It's great to sit and talk to her and have someone to listen to and tell my problems to. I've really learned a lot lately about how to be a good listener by having talks with her. Just last night I felt like she really needed to talk to someone on the ride home, and it turned out that we sat in the car for a while after we got to her place and she vented about some of the things that had been bothering her. I kept wanting to say things or make comments, but I held my tongue and it turned out that it was much better for her to just let her mind wander over the different things that were bothering her rather than deal with each as it came. I was acting very different from my old self and I like this new good listener self a lot better :o)

I'm kind of jumping around here. Anyway, I went to Tanis' place and we made some food to bring to a thanksgiving dinner we were invited to at Evelyn's. I had made rice krispies and was bringing pickless, and Tanis went nuts and made zuchini cakes, yams, beets and a banana loaf and brought some cookies on top of all that. I helped her make some of the food and in return was treated to some ginger tea. That was one of the strangest things I've ever tasted. The stuff actually tastes spicy, like black pepper spicy. It hits the back of your throat pretty hard, but then the mellow flavour spreads and suffuses your mouth and throat.. it's nice.

We headed over to Evelyn's and had an amazing turkey dinner. There were 6 of us and we had enough food for at least 20 ;o) We also had 5 kinds of dessert. It was a very overdone meal, but sooooo good :o) I stuffed myself, having seconds of dinner (only a little though) AND of dessert. I was among those who laid down after the meal to almost fall asleep from being stuffed so much.

We all went to an AA meeting after we had digested enough to move. Monday nights is a different group and it's very strange in some ways. I like it, though. There is a smaller group for comment time, and it really puts you in closer contact with your fellow AA. When you're speaking to only 5 or 6 people, you feel like you have a lot more of their attention than when you're music aloud in a room of 20 people. Aside from the size, the way the meetings are conducted is more formal there, but that's cool too. It's just different enough to let you know where you are.

After the meeting, a bunch more people were invited over to Evelyn's for coffee and that ended up being a lot more fun than I had thought. I tagged along because I had some stuff to pick up at her place and my car was parked there, but I hadn't really planned on staying long. Instead, I ended up eating more dessert (I know, I know...) and getting treated to Garett playing an electric guitar for a while. Evelyn's son James showed up and just had to show off his axe, and it was quickly suggested that he bring out his amp so a few of us had a go at playing on it. It was a really cool experience.

I ended up staying pretty late because Tanis had some laundry in the dryer and I was her ride home. Evelyn could have done it, but for one I felt that it didn't make a different to wait a few more minutes for the clothes to dry, and there's also the fact that Evelyn seems to stress Tanis out lately. We ended up leaving around 11:00 and after sitting and talking in the car at her place, I didn't get home till around midnight. As a result I'm pretty wiped this morning but I feel like it was worth it for the great time and the good learning I had yesterday.

I'm going to drive to work today because I'm going to Ardie's right after work. Oooooooh, good. I remembered so I'm going to go put the memory chip where I can't forget to bring it to work....

And after that I have badminton at 7:30 so I don't have time to be biking around town. Besides, it's freaking cold outside. Huh.. the temp is apparently +4C but it feels cold in the apartment. It must be my lack of sleep that is making me feel cold. Everything in the apartment sure feels colder. Anyway, whatever, it's not a biking day.

I don't know what exactly I'm going to do at the office. Hopefully there is some feedback regarding the app, but I don't think there will be considering I got the build done late Friday. I'm sure people had better things to do this weekend than test some software. I suppose I could make a list of things to do that need fixing. I think I already have one. I have to talk to Tom briefly, too, to ask him how soon I could be laid off. I'm expecting him to say "any time"... I'm not asking him to make a commitment to keep me on board for a certain amount of time, it's just that if he has any definite plans, I should know so I can plan accordingly. I must do this today.. must must must. Dilligence.

Last night I thought of a new word. It was while I was laying awake thinking about Tanis and how weird it is to be making an honest effort to keep my mind from straying from the friendship level. The word was "wisdom" and I think I'll use it the same as I use the word dilligence. Wisdom makes sense and it's something I haven't practised enough of so far in this life. Everyone can do with a little more widsom.

Ok.. 7:30.. time to eat some corn flakes and read the news or whatnot.

Au revoir.

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