2002-09-14 - 8:35 a.m.

Dear Diary,

I'm kind of in a hurry this morning. It would actually be the first morning that I almost forgot to write a diary entry. I didn't set my alarm last night... I thought about it but didn't check it, assuming I had set it when I turned it off the last time it rang. I only slept in till 7:30 and I was up past 10:00 (bad boy.. sigh) but anyway, I still have to pack up my computer to bring it to the LAN party :o) It's hard not to be in a good mood when I'm looking forward to some good times with a bunch of friends.

Yesterday was good. I worked well, and even though I played a few games during the day, it wasn't really detracting from my work potential. I finished off all the tasks I had assigned for myself and also an extra suggestion a coworker had given me to speed up the downloading of install files. It all worked rather well and so I was pleased with the outcome. I think I'm definitely on track for a good monday :o)

For the evening, I went to Jamie's and helped him tune up his new bike. I installed the chain for him and adjusted all the various components that are usually out of tune on a bike that isn't well maintained: brakes, shifting, handlebars, etc.

After that we went and played tennis. I have to say I'm really impressed with how quickly we've been able to improve and get to the stage where we can have a semi-serious game. The first time we went out which was only a few weeks ago, we could barely get the ball going back and forth between each other. Last night we went out and started a game straight away and it was a lot of fun. I still have a pretty big advantage in experience over him, but he learns so fast that it is almost irrelevant. I've been in his situation and I think it's almost more fun for him if he's so far behind because it gives him a good challenge. That and I'm a good sport so I'm not going to try and rub it in or play mean :o)

Afterwards I came home and went straight to my AA meeting. I had mixed feelings about the meeting. I didn't sit in the usual room and I think next time I'll have to go earlier on friday night to make sure I get in where I'm more comfortable. These people joked too much.. I mean, it's ok to joke around and be happy to see each other, but when it gets in the way of the meeting and alienates the people who are new (not me btw) then I get upset about that. AA is supposed to be focused on the saving the people that are still on the outside as well as those who've already joined and the attitude last night in the room I was in was of a meeting of old friends where outsiders didn't know what to say. Wrong impression, for sure.

You could really tell when we went around the table for comments. Quite a few people didn't say a single thing and I couldn't blame them. I talked a bit but didn't really have much to comment on. Few of the comments had any depth or made people think, and at the end of it, the "chair" said "alright, let's get the hell out of here." Wrong impression, again.

I don't want to associate the laxity of that meeting with the average age in the room, but I have to. These people were all in their 20s and like most of my generation, just didn't take things seriously enough. Bleah.

I'm not happy with my peers, even the ones who are trying to get on track.

So.. wow I ended up ranting about something! :o) It's time for me to pack my computer into the car and head out. I'm so glad that I took the time to write this entry because it would be a real shame to break the tradition I have of writing every day. It's something I've taken a lot of pride in. I've often caught myself thinking "I write in my diary every day" and that just wouldn't be true if I'd have let it slip today. I need this. I need to lay out my thoughts and feelings regularly so I remember the important things that have happened, but more so I can look back on them in a little while and learn where I went wrong and why.

Like I said in the meeting last night, I know I'm going to screw up, no matter what I try and do. But as long as the thing I'm trying to do is positive, then the things that I *don't* screw up will benefit me, they'll move me forward toward where I'm trying to go. It's not so much in the execution of my intentions as in the dilligent keeping of the right intentions through every day.

Sigh.. I feel like I'm running off and not finishing this entry. I really need to be dilligent about going to bed at 10:00. Lights out and then I'll have my regular morning to start my day off right. I can always make exceptions but they can get dangerously close to habits if they happen more than once in the same context. Anyhow, I'm looking forward to today so off to it! I get to frag my friends in Day of Defeat :o) Muahahahahahaaaa!

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