2003-03-09 - 10:51 p.m.

Almost forgot to write an entry today. I didn't do it in the morning (morning??) oh yeah I woke up at 2:30. pm. Cause really it could have been am the way my sleep has been since I moved to my parent's lol :)

So yeah my plan was to stay up all night to get back on schedule but now I'm feeling like I could fall asleep right now, so I had turned off the computer and only as I was brushing my teeth realized that I hadn't written an entry yet.

This 'morning', I had a wonderful surprise :) Well, not a complete surprise but.. let's say a moment of extreme satisfaction that I thought might be coming around soon but hadn't known when to expect or if it was even going to be all that good. It was all I'd hoped for and more :) In a few simple sentences, Lisa made my day.. the smile hasn't left my mood since I read her latest entry.

Also today I made a makeshift capo out of a pen and an elastic so I could play the tab for "landslide" properly. I wanted to listen to that song since my mom had downloaded a version of "killing me softly" by someone other than the fugees, and we talked a bit about it, and it reminded me of the Dixie Chicks' remake of "landslide". Now I don't have anything against the Dixie Chicks really but I would really have been happier if they didn't remake landslide. To me, Stevie Nicks sing landslide so meaningfully that any less of a serious rendition is like a shaming of her art. I find the Dixie Chicks' version is more of a showing off of their voices than a reaching down inside themselves and a baring of their feelings to the world.

When Stevie sings it, I feel like crying, every time. I feel all the pain from my breakup with Michelle and all the vastness of my life stretching out before me, daunting me. When the Dixie Chicks sing it, I think "top 40 radio song". No feelings well up inside me.

So yeah, anyway, I played that song from my list and then read up on it, got some background on Fleetwood Mac, found out about the story behind the song, etc. I ended up looking at some tabs and thinking I couldn't play it because I didn't have a capo. Duh. A capo is super simple, so I made one. And then I started to play the song and it's right up my alley. I've feel as though I've finally mastered the simpler chords (which at least the intro is made of) and I've liked fingerpicking since the first day I tried it, so it kind of came naturally. I can already play the intro at pretty much normal speed, which I was kind of surprised at. It means that I'm not far away from being able to write serious songs. That's such a strange thought and a strange feeling.

One day at a time... :)

Oh while I was at it I downloaded some tabs for "Is there anybody out there?" off The Wall because I always liked the fingerpicked part in it. I had read in the past that David Gilmour didn't even play it himself on the album, preferring to hire someone who could fingerpick it better than him. I look up to him so much.. that desire to create one's art instead of to garner fame for oneself.. really admirable. Mind you, I've looked up to David Gilmour for a long long time and for many reasons :) one particular moment that Saara would remember I'm sure was the time we watched "Live in Pompeii" in a friend of hers' basement in Manitouwadge. We were teenagers and both loved Pink Floyd and I remember after "A saucerful of secrets" (I think), a commercial suddenly came on after the song and we were so entranced with the art that we were shocked out of our reverie and turned to look at each other, only to realize both our jaws were hanging open.

Anyway, in that video, there is a part (during Echoes, I believe) where David Gilmour is standing all relaxed, bluesing away in the downpour of sunshine, chest bare and long hair swaying, just a rock star with nothing to do but play kickass licks in an ancient ruin for money :) The moment I realized how easy it was to play guitar and how much I would love to do it. I think I believe I could almost live in the world evoked playing "San Tropez". I would just stay there in the sunshine and the drugged, relaxed state of harmony and rest forever. What a life. We'll see.

Ps. I think I'm in love with Xxxx :) Is that even possible? I wonder.

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