2003-03-18 - 4:32 p.m.

wow. I just got the strongest feeling of deja-vu. Made even stranger because I'd seen it from the other side too. I was just strumming my guitar, wailing away at half-known chords and having a blast when suddenly I remember feeling deja-vu just over half a year ago. Wow.... it was already that long.

I was sitting outside on the concrete slab at the head of the driveway at the old apartment in Thunder Bay. I was playing my guitar, fooling around playing these chords when suddenly I got a feeling of deja-vu. But it wasn't the usual kind, it was the kind from the other side, as I said. The kind where the second half of the deja-vu hasn't happened yet, but you just experienced the first half and know that some day soon you will experience the next half, what people usually refer to as deja-vu.

Anyway, this has happened to me enough times to have recognized it when it happened... but just now I remembered something else about that time. I feel now that I am cleansing my soul with music, and that I am moving past the problems in my life and the old relationships that are in my recent past. The strange thing is, I do believe I got a hint of all this emotion at the other end of my deja-vu connection, while those relationships were still current, still full of currents, still turbulent. I do believe I remember getting very still when it happened.. stopping my strumming and .. yes.. distinctly having the feeling of wanting to shake off what I had just seen and not wanting it to happen that way.

Now whether or not I actually did think that at the time, or my brain has since created a memory that never happened, I don't know. But it's very strange and worth writing down.

For what it's worth, I remember thinking that things were going to change drastically and I would be living a much different life, and my contentment with my current life was rocked by a minor, yet ominous wave.

Anyway.. back to distracting myself from things.

I guess I'm still hibernating. Love will bring me out some day soon.. it's getting closer to me, coming from multiple directions at once. Half a dozen at last count! amazing how it works.

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