2003-09-23 - 1:16 p.m.

Hmmmmm .. a new day, a new spectrum of joy. I've entered this extended, extremely relaxed, happy loving phase of my enfatuation with Saara. Every song I listen to makes me want to dance with her, some of them even standing up.

Other thoughts intrude, though. My last few days here in Amherstburg are pleasantly sun-setting beneath the horizon of my near past. Today at the skateboard park, it dawned on me that tomorrow is the last day I'll be able to enjoy those wonderfully smooth steel ramps. Glad I managed to tail stall on the half-pipe before I had to go. Oh, and today I managed a 180 ollie rock'n'roll, if only on the table.. but still ;) Just means that I will overcome any fears and rush in the next time I have the opportunity to visit a skateboard park. Gone are the days when I would look wistfully at them but think I wouldn't have the guts to actually go.

So of course the days are speeding up and crowding with last minute things. It's all good. I've got such a wonderful feeling of accomplishment from seeing so many checkmarks popping up all the time on my todo lists. Not since the first days of quitting drinking and getting my life back on track have I felt this pumped about the present and this excited about the future. Look out, Flin Flon! Hehehe. Who woulda thought that ending my vacation would be more than being on it?

I'll remember this summer forever as one of the best, no matter what. It was what I needed... a suspension from the crazy, soul-sucking whirlpool of the workforce and the mindless money-making ruts that society seems to place us in. I found my rambling self again, and more importantly, another rambling self whose soul has been bound to mine, had never really left completely. I don't feel as though I can lose this sense.. I believe I will handle returning to mind-numbing work, especially with a loving family to support me. I can't wait.

8 days... This coming weekend will be last I spend away from my future. I see this as so definite.. so correct, so true and meant to be. Future self.. if ever things get rough, come back to this page and remember what you know now and what will still be true then: we both feel this way, and we both will never give up. Promise.

...

Hmmmmmm warmth.. even without you near me.. it suffuses me. Bryan Adams - Everything I do. :) "our song"

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